thru schizoaffective eyes

  Contemplative Writing 7 1. If you hadn't taught/taken/worked for/ this course what discoveries might you have never made? Gaining knowledge about what is meant by contemplative writing, learning to write in this style, learning all writing has contemplative elements. Meeting and knowing others in the process. Wouldn’t have been as personally aquatinted with Libby. Honestly garnishing housing as part of my trade was one of the biggest things for me. Learned there is a value to unstructured time for writers. I’d say most professions/people place almost zero value on unstructured time. I think most of the arts can be benefited by giving people the space and time to listen more deeply to what is bubbling up. Do you have to be creative to appreciate silence/ intentional unstructured time? I think any writer definitely benefits from this time, even if technical writing or researching a science book. Most people don’t have the liberty of free write time...

  So what thoughts are bubbling up? If I were to sit with myself right now and dedicate a half hour in this silence to contemplative writing, what would come of it? The following pieces that I am about to write were doing exactly that. Listen for the deepest bubbles what are they wanting to say? A few possible thoughts occur but I note them elsewhere these are not the deepest I wait. I just sit with myself. Knowing something is down there. Every day I forget the deep thought when drifting off. I find myself looking over at my pillow. Then I remember the most recent thought that I classified as deep that I never got to explore. Actually it had come to me when I was driving. There was a feeling of sadness just because my favorite child is growing so quickly. He is 9. My favorite age is just as they turn 5. Then I thought, I have so much love for these children I watch grow, all the waves of babies. But what abou...

  The main point isn’t really to excruciate over whether something is or isn’t contemplative writing, but to realize with openness that all things can be contemplative and then start doing those things in your writing process. I worked as a research assistant, part time, for several years for a professor of Contemplative Writing. On the job, I got to transcribe the words of over 30 of her students as they reflected upon their experience in this class. Most if not all of her students had life changing experience in the class that she offered. It not only involved writing and working on a large writing project over the course of the year, but also immersion in silence, more silence than they were used to or comfortable with, and also experience in nature and community. Also there was a travel element to the class. We traveled as a class together to a monastery in Kentucky, where Thomas Merton once lived, plus a Sisterhood nearby, and a Buddhist monastery ...

  What is Contemplative Writing? Poetry, prose, journaling, fiction, haiku writing. Any form of creative writing can be seen as a type of contemplative writing, and I have heard it said that even technical writing or scientific research can be contemplative writing. But what makes one form of writing more contemplative? When I am lying in bed just before I sleep at night, that is a time that I find is vastly more contemplative in terms of my thoughts, though contemplations and original thoughts can occur throughout the day. Really any thoughts that bubble up can be seen as Contemplative and when they are written down that is inherently what contemplative writing becomes. There is no certain subject or guidelines. No perimeters that constitute contemplative as separate from other forms of writing. But if you tune into your mind, and listen deeply to what you are thinking, you will be closer to these contemplative thoughts, and if you then write down ...

  In my college class on Contemplative Writing, several of my peers were writing on a masters level. It probably was the college writing class that stretched us the most. The name of the style of writing, and the course, was Contemplative Writing, and though it accurately represents what is being done in that style, usually when I use the term with my friends, they don’t really understand what I mean by the name. It also takes a lot more words to explain what it is to someone than makes sense for using such a term. My 2 friends who make up my Peer Support Writing Group, along with me, are vastly familiar with Creative Writing, on a level I would say is equal to mine. I think they are on a Graduate level in Creative Writing, and I have sat down with them many times to lead them in workshops of Contemplative Writing, but it never felt as familiar to them. Everything was new to them. Which makes me think when I talk about Contemplative Writing to other friends ...

  A year ago I went to my therapist. “I feel like there is something just around the corner that I am trying to think that I haven’t thought yet. It feels like it would be important to discover if I can.” “I understand.” Replied my therapist. “What do you think you are about to discover?” I wasn’t sure. I knew I was sure I was on the verge of a personal discovery, as she said, but I wasn’t sure what it was. A few times it would come up in therapy, always feeling like something important was on the tip of my tongue, but never knowing for certain what it was. This morning I think I realized something though. The feeling that I am on the verge of thinking something important actually doesn’t seem to just be one thing but any number of ideas and discoveries just around the bend, if I contemplate. The question changes from I wonder what my important self discovery may be to I have a limitless number of ideas and thoughts that always are accessible and r...

  One of the interview questions had asked what writing project I would want to work on if I was to start one this semester. I am already working at least 3 projects. They are not explicitly contemplative, but there are contemplative elements to them, and I think they could be a lot more contemplative in nature if I wanted them to be. The first thing that occurred to me that would make my writing contemplative is if I had some focused time for silence in my process. Silence is what really made my writing contemplative, as I remember. Libby had said she lets what float up, float up. That is a good way to describe what contemplative writing is for me. Most of the time my mind is either filled with daily thoughts or I have something on like a podcast or some media that inadvertently fills my mind and makes contemplative thoughts hard to come by. When I lie in bed at night before I sleep or sometimes in the middle of the night, original thoughts come to me. Im...

 Writing from my phone.    Was part time research assistant for 10 years very few hours but did good work and lots of deep matter. Yesterday interviewed professor.   Was lacking in sleep but she said I did really good as interviewer.  Said my listening was active.   She'll be interviewing me soon with same questions I wrote.  Will spur on deep future thinking for us both. Excited for exploration. 

The important thing is I pick back up mid September when pool reopens and proceed with routine!!!!!!!!!

  Before the Ocean Makes her Cry My friend took her baby to a crowded shore Her tot dove in and wanted more I remember the world before the ocean made me cry before I nose dove into the sand beneath trying to body surf Salt water dries swifter and the shore breeze helps I learned the water is scary and mighty I learned to fear the under toe But even after I was caught in a rip tide alone I made my way out and got up early the next morning because the tide had calmed overnight I wanted nothing more Than to swim those waves again

 I just have to figure out what to do for my swim routine during the 6 weeks the pool will be closed.  But it is exciting because they are installing a new salt water system.

 So the pool is closing the entire month of August and half September...

 I'm proud I reached 1 million views on youtube.   Might never really earn much income from it but who knows.   I'm doing better than most youtubers.  So maybe I will.  Stay hopeful.  One million really is ton.  Isn't it?

 Week 1, 9 laps X 4 days  Week 2, 9 laps X 4 days  Week 3, build to 12 laps X 4 days  Week 4, build to 15 laps X 4 days 18 21 24 27 30 33 36 stand

The pool is cold But I get used to it It feels like I'm gliding across the world  It feels like I'm flying  I'm timid about freestyle at first  I'm aware there aren't as many options to breathe I love moving fast though  This is my swiftest stroke  I'm gliding  I'm free  I'm soaring  I'm ageless, I'm limber I'm happy